At a loss and feeling like a crappy mommy

I don't know how to deal with a 3 year old.
I don't know if Lauren is spoiled, scared, overwhelmed or pigheaded in most situations.
Swimming each week is a total disaster. She screams, cries and throws a tantrum for the entire 30 minutes. Sometimes she says she is scared and maybe she is, but she is also not in control and that's probably her biggest issue.
We went to the Santa Clause parade today and she freaked out. "Too loud mommy!" Maybe it was but does that warrant bursting into tears?
Then we went to Nana and Grandpas for dinner and she refused to eat dinner and cried for over an hour and then when the cupcakes came out and everyone else got to have one she really lost her mind.
She refuses to potty train, cries every morning when I drop her off at daycare, screams for daddy when she's with mommy, cries for mommy when she's with daddy.
I find myself dreading these moments that occur every.day. I feel like she is running the show rather than her parents. We need to figure out how to manage her behavior, how to deal with the tantrums. But how?

Giggles

Halloween 2013

Halloween was very exciting this year! Brier wore the Penguin and Skunk costumes proudly while Lauren chose to be a Princess by day, Strawberry by night. We went to a total of 5 houses, at each house Lauren said "Trick or Treat! Thank you SO much" and then she would run back to me and say "Mommy Look what I got" She doesn't eat candy, she didn't know what she had gotten, but she knew it was good!

Then we went home and waited for the trick or treaters to arrive. It was a rainy nasty night so we only had about 30 but each time someone came to the door Lauren would say, "Hello friends! I LOOOVE your costume!" Hilarious!

Brier rode on Norm's shoulders and the whole time she held her arm straight up in the air to secure her candy basket. This kids knows what's important.

Two big news items!

Friday we took Lauren for her 3rd speech assessment. At her 18mth Dr apt it was identified that she wasn't talking as much as she should be for her age. Since then, we've gone for 3 speech assessments and have been working on things with her over the past year and a half. Well yesterday we were officially discharged from speech therapy!  In fact, the speech therapist we saw this time was kind of surprised she had had a problem at all. At one point during the assessment, Lauren stopped playing with the therapist, turned around to Norm and I and said "Mommy, Daddy, SIT DOWN AND DON'T MOVE!" I think that's when I knew we were going to be sprung.

In other news Brier took her first steps today! 15 months old exactly! She is only taking 5-6 at a time but it's certainly progress. She has been so stubborn about it because she is so fast when she crawls (if that's what you want to call it). So let the injuries begin, we have a walker!