Bad mom complex

Oh the guilt associated with being a mother!

I often find myself wondering if I'm a bad mom for things I do, think, or say to Lauren.

Like, for example, am I a bad mom if:

* she takes her morning nap on the kitchen table when I read Perez Hilton while lounging on the couch 5 feet away? She can't roll yet, so how harmful could it be?
* I tell her I'm going to throw her out the window when she has been crying without cause for an hour? I would never really throw her out. I'd probably walk out the front door on my own first.
* Want to have someone else watch her for a few hours just so I can be away from her? I'm sure I could find an important errand to run.
* Accidentally put a drop of vitamin D in her eye. Okay that one was pretty bad, but it was totally an accident.
* Feed her curdled milk? Yes, you'd think you could tell, but it is surprisingly difficult to distinguish.
* Don't change her outfit every time the slightest drop of barf or spit up hits it? Seriously, this would be a full time job.
* Don't attend Mother Goose, Mommy and Me, Story Hour classes when she is under six months old because I just don't see the point? I can totally picture it, she'd fall asleep and I'd be stuck singing The Farmer in the Dell with a bunch of zombie-eyed mothers.

Sometimes when asking myself, the answer is yes depending on the situation - or the amount of vitamin D - but other times it's no.

I guess ultimately the goal is to get more No's than Yes's and I'll be well on my way to Mommy of the Year.